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Hi, we're the females of the Cactus System, a multiple system, which is a group of people who all share the same body. See http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/ for more info. :)

3rd Sep, 2007


Maybe I'm not sick to have thought it was sexual. Maybe it actually was, even though she didn't see it that way. I didn't enjoy it, I didn't get turned on, but I felt violated the way I did when Tia took my bra off.

1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol. -
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. -
5. kissed someone of the same sex. -
6. had sex. -
7. had someone in your room other than family. -
8. watched porn. -
9. bought porn.
10. tried drugs.
The rest...Collapse )


Ah, there is a gay agenda...

Dear you,

I love you.

Dear you,

I'm going to miss you so much.

Dear you,

you aren't meant to know that, because it will hurt you.

Dear you,

you're not stupid, and I think you guessed anyway.

Dear you,

being without you makes me see how stupid I've been to ever take you for granted.

Dear you,

I can't wait till I see you again.

Dear you,

I love you.

i love you

poemCollapse )
perhaps not one of my better ones. however i love you. :) i'll write you beautiful poems while i'm away, you see if i don't.

Wow, another year gone.

So I was meaning this to be a really long, introspective rambly thing, but I'm typing it in German, and you know... Spoorthy is probably reading over my shoulder, and I doubt she wants to know the ins-and-outs of what I achieved this year.

(School year, I mean. I'm not deluded enough to think it's Christmas. Wish it was, so I wasn't going away, but you know).

Ah, I can't concentrate with music on. Thing is, I don't want to turn it off. Hmm, choices...

So yeah, this year. Last year I remember reflecting like this, cos it was the year when I'd gone from being a completely nerdy, friendless Y7 to being with my Roz :) And, this year the whole thing about everyone else *prods multiples* has really come out. I mean, this time last year I was thinking about Catherinne as 'Alana's evil split personality thing'. And this time, me and Lynn are even speaking! :)

(Well, she's still a bitch, but you know).

And our relationship has really come on. We've learned to *talk* about stuff, not just get pissed off and be all manipulative (I make a really crap girlfriend). We've come out to friends - even telling N was unthinkable this time last year - and they don't even mind. Hell, even my parents know. And they aren't exactly thrilled about it, but Roz's parents like me, so that makes up for it.

Actually, I feel really guilty, cos Roz's mum got me chocolate yesterday and I didn't do anything for it... I mean, it was cos I was going away, but not even my own mum would do that. Hell, I don't even expect Catriona or David to do that (although Catriona and David will be there all this summer! Wow for adoptive parents!) and I felt really bad about it... I would have offered to pay her back for it, but that would have embarassed me and her... and anyway I have very little money.

I'm topping up a tenner today actually, for the holiday. If I have a tenner for 7 days, I can send 3 texts a day. That's supposing they're as much from Switzerland (damn! It's not in the EU! It'll cost more...) but at least I know they're 40p in France, so y'know. One to my parents a day, they said :( But I'll have 2 left, for my Roz and for N! I need Spoorthy's mobile number.

God I am... not looking forwards to this. But the tour should be good.

I love my Roz :) Or my 'Ross', if we're going along that line. Likewise, I'm her Kieran to outsiders. (Ciaran's weird, spelling it like that).

I'm rambling. Where was I? Oh, things I achieved this year... yeah.

I went through the whole CAMHS thing. I've spent bloody HOURS with Mandy, getting nowhere. This time last year, I thought the mental health people would waltz in, solve all my problems, get rid of my parents... yeah. Didn't happen. At least I can solve my own problems, kind of... maybe... no.

I feel so bad making Spoothy do the suduko, but I can't do it myself. Andy's biological mum, Soraya, loves Suduko. :) She should do it, but she can't front over here, but you know.

Everyone's partners!! That's a change. This time last year, Lynn hadn't met Aaron recently... now they're married with Jack and Cassie. Andy hadn't seen Bronwyn in ages, and he was in and out of hospital... and now they're engaged and you can only see his ribs if you look hard. (Poor Andy). Everyone has new partners and kids and stuff, and it's amazing.

Wow. :) Good year. Good 2 years, in fact. Over the past 2 years, I've gone from being a nerdy Y7 to... me now, with a partner, friends, adoptive parents, multiples, everything.

I love you all. :) And not just everyone I know. Everyone who reads this, even if you only found it cos you looked up a random ivejournal or something, I love you all. :)

- Kerry (who will be posting later on probs, as the coach doesn't leave till midnight!)
OK, so I'm deviating slightly from 'the Master is his brother' which it does point towards... but meh. Going off the lyrics from the Scissor Sisters song he dances to, surely RTD is trying to tell us something?

'It's not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don't four-letter
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time
Smells-like something I've forgotten
Curled up died and now it's rotten'

They didn't play that bit, but surely they knew what the rest said. And this just goes to show. The Master and the Doctor are meant to be. 'Fuck and kiss you both at the same time'? Yes. Oh, yes.... it's meant to be. Hot timesex. Oh yes.

(Sporked shamelessly from dw_slash).

A year!

We've been together a whole year. An entire, whole year of loving you, of thinking about you every day, of dreaming about you.

Would I ever, could I ever, have dreamt of it getting this good? Not a chance.

I love you, Roz. I know stuff's a lot more complicated these days, with all the others to juggle around and everything else to deal with. But I still love you. You're an amazing person, and you're truly perfect.

I love you. So, so much.

My heart's yours, forever, all of it. I love you so much, and you're such an amazing person. Beautiful, kind, intelligent, understanding, empathetic, just so... wonderful. It's been a year when nobody ever thought it would be longer than a few months. And that's all because of you, cos you know what?

I love you.



It rained today loads, and so they shut the school around lunchtime. Us and the Etceteras went off to Vanilla and had a hot chocolate, then came back to mine and had pizza and orgies all afternoon. *mm*

I'm using her dad's laptop downstairs, on the wireless connection. It doesn't have tabs, which is a little useless. I'm seeing if we can use the online web messenger eBuddy, but I don't hold out too much hope.

I want cookies.

I think eBuddy loaded, but it keeps crashing, which sucks.

Sigh, it loaded, but nobody's online. Never mind.

Ooh the Etceteras signed in!